MORTUARY (2005)

Directed By: Tobe Hopper 
Written By: Jace Anderson & Adam Gierasch 
Cinematography: Jaron Presant 
Editor: Andrew Cohen 


Cast: Dan Byrd, Alexandra Adi, Denise Crosby, Bug Hall, Courtney Peldon, Rocky Marquette, Stephanie Patton, Adam Gierasch 


The widow Leslie Doyle has just lost her husband and moves with her teenage son Jonathan and her young daughter Jamie to a mortuary in a small town in California that she has bought with the intention of starting a new business, practicing her knowledge as mortician. When they arrive, Leslie realizes that she was lured by the former owner, Elliot, and that the decrepit Fowler Brothers Funeral Home was completely abandoned and with problem with the septic sewer. While Leslie tries to improve and clean the place and start embalming corpses, Jonathan is informed about the legend of Bobby Fowler, the deformed son of the Fowlers. Meanwhile a weird substance attacks people, transforming them in zombies.

This brings director Tobe Hopper down a notch. It seems that he started strong with his films Such as the classic TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (one of my favorite films) but over the years he has seemed to lose his touch. One still hoped for a comeback at the time of this release.

This film is Just idiotic. It doesn’t seem to be directed by a master of horror but someone Just starting in the Genre. There are plenty of cliches and fake Scares but the story and plotting leaves a lot to be desired.

The major terror here seems to be a zombie fungus that can infect people but we never find out It’s origins or why it is still around. The film gives us a ghoul phantom by the name of Billy Fowler to be afraid of but art never told his story or why they should be afraid. He just appears.

The zombies aren’t scary and there is not much gore. Not that it is needed in all horror films But when it’s this bad it doesn’t hurt and can distract from the horrible plot. Just make it gratuitous just like the film has two busty scantily clad town jezebels who date the same guy and both make out with him, but there is never any nudity from them or anybody. Nor any sex which would have been a good distraction considering the film has nothing else going for it.

Though it does have a young cast, who try to put in performances but the material they are left with leaves them With nothing to Work off to make memorable characters.

There are just moments in this film that defy stupidity. We have zombies who can’t bust down a door but can burst out of caskets. Yet are dangerous Or characters who stay in tunnels for days Trying to escape but never find out how she survived without water or food and manage to never get infected even though zombie travel through the same tunnels. Not to mention a character who has no experience in mortuary who just buys one and becomes the town mortician.

This is Just a bad movie and not one that needs to be seen to be believed. It’s just bad. As a simple for hire job or something more just put out for horror material for some straight to home video (At the time) company. Though then again maybe it is something more for horror and gore hounds

GRADE: F