ANACONDA (2025)

 

Directed By: Tom Gormican 

Written By: Tom Gormican and Kevin Etten

Based on the original film “ANACONDA” written by: Hans Bauer, Jim Cash and Jack Epps Jr. 

Cinematography: Nigel Bluck 

Editor: Craig Alpert and Gregory Plotkin 

CAST: Jack Black, Paul Rudd, Thandiwe Newton, Steve Zahn, Daniela Melchior, Selton Mello, Rui Ricardo Diaz, Ione Skye 

Four film obsessives drag themselves into the Amazon on a shoestring dream: make a spiritual sequel to a schlocky 90s horror classic nobody asked for. Doug is the engine, a guy whose genuine talent has been slowly suffocating under wedding reception footage. Griff has the rights and the actor’s hunger but not much else. The rain-forest is indifferent. The snake is absent. What the film is really about is the distance between loving movies and actually making one, and whether passion alone can paper over every logistical, financial, and interpersonal crack that opens up the moment you leave home with a camera and a bad plan.

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This is a film that Not only makes me question why was this made, but also what studio thought this was a good idea I can only imagine because of having Jack black and Paul Rudd together in some kind of buddy comedy ensemble film. 

As it sounded like a bad idea from the get go, but was hoping it would be broader or bring something different to the table. Even though it plays pretty rote 

Co-Written and directed by Tom Gormican whose previous films were AXEL F the latest BEVERLY HILLS COP movie (as a writer) and THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF MASSIVE TALENT,  as writer-director. Both films going back into the past of celebrities or iconic movie characters. Don’t feels a natural that he would take a move that was a surprise hit and known for it’ ridiculous nature and make it into a meta comedy that resurrects the film franchise and it’s cultural impact.

Though it shows he has a fascination with films and stars. His material which should be enriching and filled with influences. It Comes across more as cute but not necessarily strong or memorable. 

Originally this was supposed to be a reunion of his stars from UBEARABLE WEIGHT Nicolas Cage and Pedro Pascal but when he couldn’t get them. We got Paul Rudd and Jack black. Who try to have chemistry and play against type with Jack black more than straight man and responsible one. Where as Paul Rudd plays the more wild and impulsive character.

There are 2 cameos in the film one works and is the only time the film is truly alive and hilarious. The other one doesn’t and feels unneeded 

What kept me entertained throughout the film

Was Wondering what is  going on with thandwe newton’s hair. As its volume, length and styles change throughout the film with each new scene. Now that could have been a clever satire of the constant problem of actors of color complaining often they are fixed to wear uncomfortable and badly styled wigs. Due to not having proper hair and make-up people who know how to style their hair. Instead it just happens in the background and one wonders was it intentional or not. Though happy to see her working again. 

Will admit the film is Awkwardly casted. As the actors don’t seem like they would normally work together, but here make it through believably enough and Nice to see Steve zahn part of the cast as him and Jack black have a a small SAVING SILVERMAN reunion

Ultimately though the film not most of it’s ideas It truly goes anywhere and make the material

feel empty. Even if it was just a more comedic remake of the original film. It would have amounted to something 

The film does serve as a constant reminder that Jack Black really needs better and new material film wis. As the only time he seen interesting or in better films is when he works with filmmaker Richard Linklater (Bernie, Apollo 10 1/2) so that it feels like the films he chooses get worse and worse though he stays energetic and likable in all of them. Though since half of them make money at the box office. Other than partially reputation he really has no reason to change his trajectory.

This is a film that could have set itself up. As either a satire or parody and instead comes across as confused as its premise. Though it would have been nice to be a film that shows character who are bonded by their love of not only film but a certain film and the pains and stakes they are willing to take to remake the film out of passion and love. Not to mention a chance to relive part of their childhood and reunite with one another. 

Almost like those guys who remade RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK. In their teens a scene by scene remake and only later in life did the world get to see it, finally and they did it out of love for the film. If only this movie came close to having that kind of sincerity, vision and heart. It could have made this film worthwhile. Instead it just feels unnecessary and useless.

 

Grade: F 

SISU: ROAD TO REVENGE (2025)

Written & Directed By: Jalmari Helander

Cinematography: Mika Orasmaa

Editor: Juho Virolainen

Cast: Jorma Tommila, Stephen Lang, Richard Brake, Tommi Korpela, Kaspar Velberg, Paaru Oja, Eriki Laur, Maksim Demidov

Returning to the house where his family was brutally murdered during the war, “the man who refuses to die” dismantles it, loads it on a truck, and is determined to rebuild it somewhere safe in their honor. When the Red Army commander who killed his family comes back hellbent on finishing the job, a relentless, eye-popping cross-country chase ensues – a fight to the death.

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This sequel film definitely lives up to its title. As the film was unexpected, as I didn’t think that the character had more hardships to go through and yet here it is. It’s pretty much more of the same only it seems to get to the action almost immediately after a brief set up of where we are and what the main character is trying to do.

Like most sequels, this is bigger as at each level he the main character. Sisu is facing more challenges. so that each level is broken up into a chapter and then each chapter it seems he’s facing the same enemy, but only harder and tougher like at first he’s just facing soldiers then in the next level he’s facing tanks and then in the next level, he’s facing planes and so on. So that we can see how each level gets more difficult and challenging. Though mostly it seems lkkenthe stunt men do most of the work. As this is a film meant for them the most. 

There’s very little dialogue as our hero. Sisu is mute throughout, which might be meant to remind the audience of THE MAN WITH NO NAME trilogy. As it does have the theme of revenge, but it’s not a western. It’s more an action war film.

 This sequel was not needed, but it still has impressive, action and strangely more American actors playing Russians this time around. which I figure offers more name recognition and to broaden the appeal of the film and widen its audience as the first one is more of a cult, action film, and they obviously wanna make this into a franchise. 

that would fit the tone of director, Jamari Helander, previous action filled films, such as RARE EXPORTS and BIG GAME 

If looking for balls to the wall, action film with some gore, this film is right up your alley as it does serve the kind of hard-core action you rarely see on the big screen anymore. This film was definitely meant to be seen in a movie theater or on the biggest screen as possible.

Grade: C 

PIZZA MOVIE (2026)

 

Written & Directed By: Nick Kocher & Brian McElhaney

Cinematography: Bella Gonzales

Editor: Matt McBrayer

Cast: Gaten Matarazzo, Sean Giambrone, Lulu Wilson, Peyton Elizabeth Lee, Marcus Scribner, Caleb Hearon, Sarah Sherman, Jordan Carlos

High college students face an unexpectedly epic journey when they must navigate two flights of stairs to retrieve their pizza delivery, turning a simple task into a surreal adventure.

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This is pretty much a stoner movie so it will make some kind of sense at least as far as the premise but for the most part, it’ll just be silly off the wall and gonzo.

That would really makes me wonder is when the writer directors of this movie Nick Kochner & Brian McElhaney who form the comedy duo BriTANick, when they are writing this movie are they quite under the influence to make the material work. As if they are when they’re sober how do they make it seem plausible or make sense oh, that’s just a thought.

I’m happy to see so many child actors I remember growing up and working in this film as it is off the wall and occasionally funny, but it just doesn’t reach the height of hilarity for me even with all of its juvenile humor, some of which might be offensive it just came across as cute not necessarily anything daring. So that even with the cursing and as offensive, it might be minorly it still feels like a teen film maybe a little bit harder edged and surprisingly almost sexist.

The film isn’t totally stupid. It’s just silly. It does have kind of a surprisingly smart and glorious bastards signed up as well as a Meta element that wasn’t expected. It doesn’t completely work, but for the most part does.

It’s a perfectly fine time waster. As I can’t

See remembering much afterwards. As you pretty much get what you might expect with a few surprises. 

Wouldn’t mind seeing more of these comedies that at least try for something different and new and has sparks of originality rather than the plane comedies that are supposed to be raunchy and energetic and that just feel way too familiar

Grade: C

BALLS UP (2026)

 

Directed By: Peter Farrelly 

Written By: Paul Wernick & Rhett Reese

Cinematography: John Brawley 

Editor: Sam Seig 

Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Paul Walter Hauser, Benjamin Bratt, Molly Shannon, Sacha Baron Cohen, Daniela Melchoir, Eric Andre, Eve DeDominici, Chelsey Crisp

Two marketers pitch a bold new condom World Cup sponsorship. After a booze-fueled scandal, they must outrun chaos to survive.

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This film is one of the stupidest of the year, So far intentionally. Though expected to be disappointed. While the film certainly isn’t the best of the year. It is surprisingly hilarious.

Though one of the selling points of the movie is the gross out humor. Which shouldn’t come as a surprise considering it’s directed by Peter Farrelley. While this film certainly fits this formula of early 2000’s gross out comedies that are sensational and over the top. It stays within his wheelhouse. Though it still Manages to shock considering it stars Mark Wahlberg.

This comes across as another paycheck job for him. He tries to have enthusiasm, but he looks tired and exasperated. He seems to lack his usual charm in the lead, but he works in his role.

It ultimately boils down to being a buddy comedy where the two supposed mismatched leads learn to become friends. Though all their troubles and camaraderie. 

The true scene stealer of this film is Paul Walter Hauser. As usual in the co-lead. He stays believable, lovable and the Everyman throughout. Though there are certainly other cast members who have fun with their roles and are standouts such as Benjamin Bratt and Sasha Baron Cohen making a return to the big screen.

If you are not a fan of these types of films, this movie isn’t for you I think what when the audience over as you expected typically silly comedy and that leans more into the stupid and while it certainly stays that way, it’s also the gross out jokes that you’re just not expecting with such a pedigree.

While also having fun about the obsessions of men, people and a country never overly insulting but just ridiculous. It’s never quite off color but it is racing that enjoyable. It’s not a film. You might remember 15 minutes after you watch it though it is something that has definitely re-watchable and a guilty pleasure.

This isn’t the type of film you watch for the filmmaking or the acting it’s more film. You just watched to have fun and have a good time with no matter how ridiculous.

Grade: C 

FLIGHT RISK (2025)

 

Directed By: Mel Gibson

Written By: Jared Rosenberg 

Cinematography: Johnny Derango 

Editor: Steven Rosenblim

Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Michelle Dockery, Topher

Grace, Leah Remini, Maaz Ali, Paul Ben-Victor, Eilise Patton, Monib Abhat 

A pilot transports an Air Marshal accompanying a fugitive to trial. As they cross the Alaskan wilderness, tensions soar and trust is tested, as not everyone on board is who they seem.

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to be honest, this phone plays like a TV movie from the 80s or 90s though what makes it worthy of the big screen is that it’s directed by Mel Gibson and that it stars Mark Wahlberg, whose idea of stretching to play a villain was making his character partly bald 

As most of this phone takes place on a small carrier plane where reluctant witness is going to testify against the mobster with an FBI agent as his chaperone and the pilot who ends up not being who he supposed to be, but actually a hitman 

Even when he is taken down, but not killed, they have to figure out how to fly the plane to safety, as well as finding out who exactly they can trust and who the mole might be in the organization largely off screen, so we only hear their voices, though as soon as I heard Leah remini’s voice. I knew it instantaneously.

The film is cut and dry though it tries to stay suspenseful with some shocks and a bit of action. Even though for the most part the film is pretty predictable.

It’s one of those film Where you wonder why the cast and director of Gibson’s stature decided to make this film. Which seems simple even by Netflix standards. 

Was he trying to sharpen his directing chops or was this a favor to someone he owed. As that can be the only explanation for Mark Wahlberg’s involvement as a favor to Gibson and try Playing a heel in a movie he didn’t suspect many would see or just for fun and the film Doesn’t totally rest on his shoulders. 

If you are looking for a movie with low stakes or just to play in the background that is pure blockbuster popcorn. This might be the film for you. As it is very lite and unassuming.

Grade: D+