Tuesday, January 6, 2026

IF I HAD LEGS I’D KICK YOU (2025)


Written & Directed By: Mary Bronstein 

Cinematography: Christopher Messina 

Editor: Lucian Johnston

Cast: Rose Byrne, A$ap Rocky, Conan O’Brien, Ivy Wolk, Delaney Quinn, Danielle Macdonald, Christian Slater, Josh Pais, Ella Beatty, Mary Bronstein

While trying to manage her own life and career, a woman on the verge of a breakdown must cope with her daughter’s illness, an absent husband, a missing person, and an unusual relationship with her therapist.


This is dramatic, but present presented as a dark comedy

One can remember the first time I saw Rose Byrne in a film. It was in a disastrous epic movie Troy and I remember not being that impressed by her and it seems like since then if she had heard, she took it as a personal upfront because it seems like since then she has done nothing but build her career and impress in numerous performances that she sometimes gets credited with, but not enough in my view and here she gives an Oscar level performance think general Rowlands in a woman under the influence and her intensity

The film also has her character leading with all sorts of catastrophes that are making her breakdown and the camera seems to present most scenes, especially with her an extreme close-up, so you can never escape her intensity just as she seems to never be able to escape her ongoing problems and challenges

IT’S interesting that her character is a therapist as clearly she is breaking down and has her own therapist, and her job is to listen to other people‘s problems and give advice, but she can’t seem to solve her own as well as taking care of a disabled daughter and a husband who is not supportive truly, and never there

Randomly Conan O’Brien is in this movie, which is a welcome surprise, especially if you’re a fan of his though in a role that is quite different 

One of the wisest decisions is that her child is often in the scenes, but remains unseen, so while she has this illness, we never quite see her. She is kind of a phantom where we wonder what she looks like, but it might also be because it would be hard to find a child to give a physical and unbelievable performance for that character. While mostly throughout we are given fl glimpses of her. when eventually the child is revealed it is at a pivotal point. It seems as a must rather than play the character is almost invisible or imaginary.

Not sure that this film was produced by Josh Safdie, as it does feel like one of his films maybe not visually but with a main character going through increasing pressure and as the film goes on, they’re being an unrelenting tension that doesn’t seem to offer any distractions and the character coming more and more unhinged

Though the film is like the character at first, it seems a little light, a little more comedic and then as it goes along, it gets a little darker and has a little more pressure then by the end it just feels like there’s nowhere to go nowhere a turd and it doesn’t offer any answers or show that any character is a saint nor a villain they are just who they are in life. Is that way too there’s no definitive answer. There’s no let up Sometimes. It can be random.

It is surprising how much it has gripped you by the end and how much you care. Even as itnolays like an emotional horror film as it unfolds especially towards the end.

Grade: B+

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