THE MOVIE AMENDMENTS
Now this is the first draft. This is open to additions. So feel free to suggest some or reply with your own or feel free to create your own.
This following list might give you insight into me. It might make you like me or hate me. As I know certain experiences re uncontrollable. This is what I hope for as a movie experience.
THE INTRODUCTION
Written in good humor and fun. This list might inspire even less people to go to movies with me. Taking joy out of what is supposed to be a fun and entertaining experience.
It’s Like the rules they say before the movie. No talking, no cell phone and yes they isn’t a suggestion it’s a rule. They can ask you to leave or throw you out but most theaters in interest of profits, safety and volume seldom enforce. It still doesn’t mean it’s not a rule.
So this is detailed but not as harsh. More a code of behavior that is expected of you. As if I have offered you an invitation to the cinema I think well to highly of you. I am all for personal freedoms but this helps maintain a pleasurable experience all around and leaves me to be less anxiety ridden.
You never know I might take one of these myself The Rules & Commandments of going to see a movie with me. (I know commandments are a little strong and strict but sometimes you have to be bold to get attention)
Like most these are more 50/50 more after thoughts to fill in. Realize also this is for you just as it is for me. A kind of warning in the bottle. So we both don’t end up disappointed with eithers behavior before, during or after. These are more for movies in theaters though some can be attributed to watching films at home Now i realize some of these won’t count as much anymore due to changing rules in technology and constantly changing times
Trust me ask anyone who has gone to a screening or movie with me. I believe they will agree to having been asked to follow some of the these rules or behavior.
Just an advisory: General Guideline
1. DECLERATIONS - The Party of the first part & other parties mentioned Will agree to follow and partake in the following restrictions and rules.
Section A. - GENERAL
1. Thou shalt not talk or have a conversation. I prefer no questions, though if movie related will sometimes answer. So it might be allowed. As long as not what was that person in or a personal question. Or just general talking. Comments are allowed at s low volume and surprising reactions are something neither of us can help.
2. Sure some movies audience participation isn’t needed most of the time, but fits the mood or movie. I know this contradicts what I might have said before.
3. I will even admit I will most likely Laugh at private jokes or things I have funny or if I am scared or have any emotional reaction maybe more a chuckle
4. Thou shalt turn off your cell phone. Please no texting, obviously no conversations.
A. Taking photos or videos is allowed only secretly and with no flash. If phone must be on. Please leave it on vibrate. No answering unless or until you are leaving the theater to answer. Though wonder why you are going to a movie of you need to answer the phone. As you obviously have a lot of things going on already. Please leave screen on low brightness.
5. Please use the bathroom before or after the show. Preferably not during. As there will be the inevitable question of what did i miss. Which then goes back to rule #1
6. Please arrive at least 20 - 30 minutes before showtime. Earlier if you need to get snacks at the concession stand. I like to be early and get picks of seats.
A. Yes I know now many theaters have reserved seating but not all and plenty of people don’t pay attention to that policy unless the theater is crowded or someone is in that seat.
B. Always prefer sitting in the back of theater or near the back. To take in the big picture the majestic size of a full screen. Only near back if back isn’t available or choice prefer sitting in the middle of row unless a case of the bubble guts which means preference on the sides or end of rows
C. Which is if there is a balcony I choose to sit there if available and be careful theaters have a tendency of not mentioning there is one. As ushers are known to do who won’t let you know or guide you to the balcony Usually as it is on another floor and afraid if you go to other floor you might try to sneak into other theaters.
7. I Will want to stay and watch the credits in full usually. Give everyone who worked on the film the proper respect and not only waiting for the little addition only for marvel movies.
8. I Will probably rate trailers. With a thumbs up or thumbs down. (The memory of Siskel & Ebert: At the movies) this is the the yellow sign on the road to the main feature you can talk here but low and I am a little more lenient of most rules during this period but the warning signs are here
9. Yes I will judge you by movie watching etiquette. Why not I probably already have by your movie taste and choices.
A. Obviously expect you to have reactions to the movie but let’s stay in the realms of reality. Let me know in advance if you are a screamer. Get sick easily. Might have taken drugs or alcohol before hand
B. Drinking during movie should be shared and done only for popcorn blockbuster or more disposable films. Though also for Trippy cult films.
C. One is guilty of the drinking part myself. The less you know about the movie MOTHER! Experience the better for all of you. Though will say it certainly helped my understanding of the movie.
D. Snacks and food should stay shared. Don’t mind if you sneak in snacks. As I might also. All I ask please open it before the movie starts.
E. One rule I’d put down is to open your snacks before the movie even if you’re not gonna eat them yet. Too many people open them during a quiet scene and it’s very distracting
10. Thou shall talk about the film after... dissecting it. If time allows need another person’s point of view of the film. It also allows one to kind of get the fresh out of the oven thoughts before they can be flavored or influenced
11. Open to sneaking into other movies and theaters. Get your money worth. Prefer to do some planning beforehand to match the times
SECTION B.
Article A.
- RANDOM ANNOYANCES (Don’t usually have to worry about this when it comes to certain theaters. Though there is always room for surprises)
1. One finds the more full the audience the more annoyances
2. People who go to the movies and act like it’s their home entertainment systems or their living rooms. With tablets, cell phones all out and a meal.
3. People who decide to talk during films and use it as a way to discuss other subjects. Like talk about their day. They decide to take care of calls now
4. Predict future plots or twists out loud
5. Those who are loud and use the excuse I paid for my ticket to watch this like everyone else they are disturbing didn’t also
6. The "shhhing" fights or arguments who take over the audio of the movie. Prefer you not be one of the instigators
7. People who bring big babies or children to r rated movies I understand maybe not wanting to spend money on babysitter or really wanting to see the movie it will be ready for home watching so enough. Don’t make the rest of us suffer
8. People who use flashlights during the movie who aren’t ushers.
9. Some people i have attended movies with have texted their exact moments of the movie while with me online. Trust me your followers can wait until after it’s over for your witticisms or dialogue taken away
10. Usually i go to early shows or try to go on off days when Work allows when most are in school or at work or is a weekday so not usually going to movies. Less crowd which might be why I have had better experiences within the last few years
11. I know this all sounds like the type of people who complain about why does that guy have better seats then I do when I am a bigger and devoted fan or who see’s pictures of models at events and say it’s Not fair they have tickets when I am an actual fan and they are just there because it’s all of a sudden cool, Sort of like comic con
12. When it comes to Bad film experiences. I have dealt with from friends, I am used to them by now. They tend to understand or give exceptions. As they understand. This is my church to watch artists paint the screen with their passion and talent expressing themselves or just good old entertainment
ARTICLE B.
- DISTRACTIONS
1. If you must take a bathroom break. I understand. Just please don’t be the type who insists to know what they missed. That is a gamble you took. Will explain later what you missed. Unless there was a major part.
2. I tend to tune out those who ask or talk and just shake my head. This goes for any questions really especially if it’s what was that person in before? Is he/she going to die? That’s the villain right? What’s so funny? What did they say? Now that you have asked and I Have had to tell you I have missed many more lines of dialogue.
ARTICLE C.
- ROMANTIC INTERACTIONS
1. For this next rule i will admit i Haven’t had a movie date. So can’t really fully give rules of etiquette. But this is the closest i can come to it or at least some guidelines
2. No making out or sexual things during movie. Unless started at previews, Or hinted at before hand. So purposely can see film was planning on paying little attention to already.
3. If both agreed during the movie because the movie is trash and done to distract ourselves.
A. The party who begins or starts owes interested party a treat, other then the obvious or agrees to fund the interested parties ticket to rewatch film on their own or purchase online or dvd if not next film should be on them.
SECTION C.
Article A. - REFRESHMENTS
1. I am not above a partner or myself sneaking In Food but please let’s be practical. Let’s not go for a full course meal. Especially if choosing something that carries a strong aroma. As it is noticeable and we are only here for 2 hours 3 at most.
2. Please don’t sneak in anything too loud.
3. I am all for refreshments. That can be known as popcorn food. All I ask is that if you want to get and enjoy these refreshments.
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4. Please be prepared to go to the movie early just in case if a crowd. As I am willing to forgo refreshments to get a good seat and be there on time. I truly don’t like holding seats while my guests are hunting for food. Being like a bouncer or usher myself.
5. Don’t mind if you want to order refreshments for yourself but also should be open to sharing.
6. I am all for alcoholic beverages.
7. Just be sure you can ah doe you liquor. Soon most theaters seem to be going the way of selling it at the concession stand. To help make more money. So might not have to sneak it in. As i Am sure it will be overpriced but about the same amount of buying it in a high end bar.
8. Personal preference of slurpee’s over soda or Minute Maid frozen.
9. Gourmet food is available now or better options at the refreshment stand.
10. The parties involved Whether you prefer to fill it halfway and then put the butter or you fill it up put a straw in the middle line it up to the muzzle to get it spread on the popcorn all around
11. Like the Alamo Drafthouse theater which truly enforced these rules. Yet serve meals during the movie. Which I guess is nice but not when trying to watch a movie and the waiter is in the way bringing you your steak and eggs. The Cling clanging of dishes and god forbid they bring the wrong order or forgot something now an argument and when you are fully engrossed as the film is coming to an end and they bring the bill and now you have to hunt for your wallet as you go over the bill and try to decide who pays for what or figuring out the tip. This isn’t a problem. I mean it’s bad enough more and more theaters are becoming like the broadway theatre and offering full bars and alcoholic beverages. I mean it used to be people sneaking this stuff in or getting lit before the film now they can do it while the movie. I understand it is probably to help the theater make more money with overpriced drinks like in clubs and manhattan, but is this the only way. It seems the more you add, The more chances you give for disturbances and still aren’t going to enforce your own set of conduct and rules. As the ever popular argument “I paid to watch this movie.” Like all others in attendance didn’t which shows a natural self centeredness.
12. This is our spaceship but off from the world all we have to do is look forward and pay attention. As we move throughout this galaxy and fantasy. Sure it would be great to collaborate on what we are seeing as we move forward but all you have to do is hold that thought and any other thoughts because it might be answered by what we are watching. You might figure it out or by the end leaves us with plenty to talk about.
13. If we are going to get refreshments and you know that you will request it be prepared to arrive even earlier. As if the movie begins in 10 minutes and there is a long line even as we have assigned seats. I will go to the seats to make sure they stay that way. If you choose to stay online for food that is on you.
Article B. - FOREIGN & DOMESTIC
Subsection A. - INTERNATIONAL
1. When it comes to seeing movies on foreign land some of these don’t apply due to the culture and their movie going habits don’t want to be rude or disrespectful
2. Haven’t been to the movies too much internationally but will try to follow the rules of the region
Subsection B. - SEATING
1. Now when it comes to seating this is tricky as now there is reserved seating but I still like to be early just in case again for buying of snacks, bathroom stake out territory. Hey we might be spending up to three hours here. Just as when it comes to parking or a encounter with the opposite sex you want to find the right spot
2. Prefer the back row but if going to see s romantic movie this could be the worst place as that is where the couples and lovers. Go And They might hardly watch the movie or just declare their love like the people on screen.
3. It’s still ideal but if accepting the invitation of another party leave it up to them as long as not the front. Especially if they bought the tickets in advance and you have to pay them back
*Side Note: if the show is pretty full when buying tickets and preferred seats are taken we can wait until the next show or a better time
Article C.
1. If given a choice prefer IMAX for effects movies. Even if the only true IMAX I have experienced that fulfills the promises made it is Lincoln square 68th street itMs the size of the theatre. Others that have IMAX have a regular Screen and just seem to boost the volume. And add to the ticket price. Not in 3D and definitely would prefer to skip 4D unless someone has never experienced it or the rare occasion going to a movie with a Child as it is more like a roller coaster in a movie Not impressed by RPX
Article D.
1. Find that now that there is reserved seating. It’s like when taking a plane and people figure they already have their seats so they are going to show up just in time or leisurely walk in. Rather then still get there in the respected time. One of the reasons I still come in early especially when watching a film at a time or location I am not familiar with is that though you have reserved seats half the time people have to throw people out of their seats and show them their ticket that has that seat and people are surprised.
2. It’s Like people think these reserved seats are suggestions or when you go to a broadway show and come back at Intermission or sneak into the show with the crowd coming back in from intermission usually smokers and take an empty seat because most likely the people have left and you hope aren’t coming back
3. I have gone to movies where the people I was with felt that the rules they put before a film like turn off your cell phone, no talking. Are merely suggestions. I believe it’s because they say please. Which sounds more like a suggestion and not as aggressive as it should.
Article E.
1. No front rows. Don't want to hurt or crane our necks
2. As it is in my personal records. if one gets there early usually crowd of people tend to sit around me in a circle with me in the middle. It’s not paranoia this Is why I generally tend to sit in the back row. That is more out of paranoia
3. Prefer stadium seating as a person of limited height
4. Dislike others sitting right in back of me wondering what they are doing. Plus they tend to kick the chair while either crossing their legs or using the limited space for whatever. Just as common is when leaving or entering the row. Grabbing the back of my seat for balance throwing it and me out of whack. Not looking for a rodeo or amusement park ride
5. Dislike others seated right in front of me. That is more of a height thing as now I can’t see the screen and worse of a couple they either start kissing or lay on each other’s shoulders so instead of a single space blocking I have a double. Luckily so far never a triple. Though what a sight to behold like a modern miracle or at least not something you see everyday.
Article F.
1. Assigned seats there is supposed to be a system but rather than mandatory most seems to feel it is optional and especially if there seem to be free or even better seats available that is all fair in love and war
2. Open choice depending on who offered the invitation.
3. Though honestly with modern technology and reserved seating on the rise. That opens up various opportunities and variables.
4. I for the most part honor ticket and seat number selection but if the theater isn’t crowded and/or empty we will go for a better seat if ours are disappointing or unsatisfactory. Hey I am onto human and open to the same temptations we all are.
*SUB-ARTICLES
A. EXTRAS
I Will give you so much more respect if you are attached to a movie club that offers discounts even if it just for the theatre chain. Tells me some things about you. Like you go out to the movies with regularity.
B. ONLINE TICKETS
When it comes to buying tickets online...
1. If one buys a ticket and possesses them on their phone or the code to print them out. We obviously need to me together.
2. You should arrive on time or early. As most likely I will be the one who has bought the ticket. If you are the one trust me I will show up early either way.
3. As luckily we are in the time of technology where seating is reserved. So there might be more of a relaxed attitude, but i will wait only until 5 minutes before the movie’s scheduled time before I will leave the lobby and go to my seat after that it is up to you to try and find your own way in. As I would expect to be treated the same way if I came late to the movie or performance.
4. As hopefully no one will try to park in the seats and kick them out of your seats as you have proof hopefully it doesn’t come to fisticuffs but don’t want to go to the Usher as he is security only to a point as they have no weapons or real authority have to go with how big or imposing they are. Or you will have to have do it yourself. As either way you don’t want to snitch either.
A. You will find this most prevalent on AMC Theatres $5 tuesdays
5. Now if you decide to buy a ticket. You will have to find your own seat. Because you had me buy your ticket I might have a nice empty seat next to me. But as I can’t get a refund you still owe the buyer the full admission price.
6. A warning as I am one to usually turn my phone off. I pay attention to the rules. You might get lucky or I will text you the seat number to let you know where your seat is and if you can get in that is where your seat will be where I am at
7. I don’t know how in the past it went maybe leaving the ticket with the usher and leaving a name that will pick it up maybe even with the ticket seller but with today’s digital multiplexes a little harder. Maybe text a password to the friend and tell the ticket taker the password and they can come in and sit somewhere
8. I don’t mind theater hopping as long as the films schedule line up
C. SOCIAL MEDIA
1. When it comes to social media I will probably be posting location and what movies are being seen. I will also most likely take pictures of tickets and posters
2. All of this will be done before it after the movie not during. No texting, photos or filming during the film. If you must keep your phone in for whatever reason please turn the brightness of your phone down. Use it as little to none as possible. Enjoy the show you paid for. Social media will still be there after.
D. LOCATIONS
1. If we are partaking in $5 Tuesday’s at AMC let’s Try to find a less popular one. As in New York at the 34th and 42nd street locations that is where the homeless go to camp out for the day. Which might explain why these theaters constantly get bed bugs and lice outbreaks. Not to mention random snoring during first run movies. That might be why that homeless person spoiled that film.
IN SUMMATION
A. As a proper summation of the rules just follow these simple ones
1. Don’t try to talk to me during the feature
2. Turn off your cellphones while watching the movie
3. Be prepared to show up early at the theater by at least 30 minutes
DISCLAIMER: Though do reserve to amend these laws as the years go on and the situations change Yes I know this might not look official but haven’t had as many experiences with legal documents. So did the end to could and it beats random rules. Practice what you preach. Maybe as once worked at a movie theater it also gave me an inside look at the process
Notarized Signature
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