PRIVATE SCHOOL (1983)

Directed By: Noel Black 
Written By: David Greenburg & Suzanne O’Malley 
Cinematography By: Walter Lassally 
Editor: Fred Chulack 

Cast: Phoebe Cates, Matthew Modine, Betsy Russell, Kathleen Wilhoite, Michael Zorek, Fran Ryan, Ray Walston, Sylvia Kristel, Frances Bay 


Christine, a student at an exclusive all-girls private school, is in love with Jim, who attends an academy for boys nearby. Christine's arch rival Jordan also has her eye on Jim, and she is willing to do whatever she can to steal him away. Jim's uber-slob buddy Bubba is going with Betsy, Christine's cynical friend, though he would probably be unfaithful if any other woman were willing to get near him. Bubba and his pals sneak into the girls' school dressed in drag in hopes of reaching the Promised Land (better known as the women's shower room), while Christine and Jim run away together for the weekend, though their escapade isn't as romantic as they had hoped.


While I can celebrate this film as a milestone as a teen sex comedy I watched often when I was growing up. It will always hit a certain special chord with me. Though I can also say it’s not really a good film. It’s one that has stayed in my memories over the years for many reasons.

One of them being Phoebe Cates in one of her few I fortunately memorable starring roles and also for introducing Betsy Russell an actress I remember from many 80’s movie and who I had a huge crush on at the time (she was most recently in the SAW movies. Still looking beautiful) I believe why she made such an impact on me was at the time. She not only was an actress I had a crush on, but also the first crush I ever saw naked.

You also must keep in mind d to me at that age not only was this erotic and exotic material. It was practically porn so it was sacred and felt like it was contraband almost illegal material or at least material I wasn’t supposed to have access to. Which brought an extra joy to watching it

This film was often compared with FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH. When I was young even though that film depicted teen sex with a little more authority and realistic elements in a truthful but humorous way. That seemed to show a heart and decency. Plus it was a good movie. The only reason I can think of the comparison is because both feature Phoebe Cates only here in more a starring role,

I can’t say this is a good movie. As the central plot is simple and dumb but identifiable. The film is more episodic in nature and has to deal with life at an all boys and all girls academy in close vicinity. There is a popular couple who haven’t done it yet, but are planning to once all the obstacles get out of their way. There is a rich girl who wants the popular guy and tempts him often. There is also the overweight hot tea best friend who somehow has a cool girlfriend but is always not only horny it the genius who has all these plans that will go wrong.

The only true noteworthy aspect about this movie is that it lives up to it’s promise when it comes to gratuitous nudity, that Fast times promised and gave more of a snippet of. Here there is nudity a plenty usually provided by miss Betsy Russell a veteran of T & A 80’s movies such as TOMBOY.

I really wonder were these the only films around and offered for young actors or did they figure they would work their way up the Hollywood ladder by getting their foot on the door with these movies or since it was their first movies did they take it and the material seriously? Did anyone become method like Sean Penn and his character in fast times?

I would advise only Watching this for the nostalgic value and vintage 80’s style and nudity. Other then that it doesn’t have too much to offer. Unless you love lowbrow humor and stupid jokes and bad cross dressing.

Sometimes you have to sit and wonder what was wrong with you that you might have thought these movies were great as kids. I think it was the nudity that made me think that this was a masterpiece in my youth. I have the same weakness now, only in life. As nudity make me one weak.

 Debut movie as a choreographer of Paula Abdul who choreographed the women's aerobic workout. And appears as a cheerleader. Actress Phoebe Cates not only was the top-billed actor but was a performer for the film's soundtrack singing two songs "How Do I Let You Know" and "Just One Touch" the latter in a duet with Bill Wray.

My uncle as always Introduced this movie to me. Where it was on cable constantly. He had a crush on Phoebe Cates at the time. Especially in the censored version that played on USA cable channels all the time before they had any original programming really.


GRADE: C+